The aftermath of September 11th left many people dazed and confused, wondering what else this world has to offer besides disappointments and sheer terror. I was one of those whose world imploded simultaneously as the World Trade Center. But oh no, God wasn’t going to let that happen to His precious child, he reached in and lifted me out of the darkness. My family and I moved here from Vietnam in 1992, (relatively recent), in search of the American dreams. My father often reminded us that what we have determines who we are. Another point is that my family is devout, I mean devout Buddhist. There was a sacrifice for every possible occasion, like most non-Christian Vietnamese, we are deep rooted in ancestry worshiping. I have grown up with this tradition and have never known of any other way life. I walked daily in this lifestyle unsatisfied, empty, and always in search for something to fill that void in my heart. I began to look for the fulfillment and security in friends, in a boyfriend, in academic achievements, and desperately begged for it from family. Slowly, everything turned their backs to me, my friends, then boyfriend, next my grades, and even family. Suicidal thought never ceased to attack my mind. I was stripped naked and badly beaten by the world.
The Monday following Sept. 11th my cousins took me to a church event, a bible study at First Baptist Church called Metro. I fell in love with this God that everyone surrounding me was worshiping. My feet were beating to the music and my heart was beating to life. I wanted to know more about Him. So, I accepted and invited Jesus Christ into my life to be my Lord and Savior. I wanted to be saved from the vile ways of this world. I no longer wanted to cry tears of agony and pain but want only to cry out to our Almighty God in joy and excitement. Since then I begin to live.
"It's for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then, and do not let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." John 8: 32
God was my new boyfriend. I snuck out of my devoted Buddhist home to go worship God, to go to church to hear of His awesomeness and of His love. I secretly spent time with Him in the quietness of my closet and my bathroom. Wow! I had the time of my life. I truly lived and fully experienced life. He is the One who filled that void, the One there for me in my brightest and darkest days, and the One who sees through my rag of sins to the inner beauty. This went on for months until the day that I wanted to announce to the whole world of this awesome love. I could no longer suppress my emotions of Him.
My family did not take the news of me becoming a Christian lightly. They loathed the idea and threatened many times to disown me. I ran to God, pleading and asking Him for guidance. I was never going to give up; in my heart, this is where I belong. My family was not even there to feel or know of my deepest darkest sorrows, He was. Don't get me wrong, I love my family very much, (God removed my resentments and showed me the love that I now have for them) but my love for God is much greater.
"Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me." Psalm 27:10
The enemy never ceased to attack. On one occasion, there was a death anniversary for my grandfather, my family expected me to be there and follow the ritual of sacrifice that we do annually. I know that we must not worship any other gods but the Almighty God in Heaven. I came fearfully before the Lord seeking guidance and strength. The whole church prayed for me. I was present at the ceremony out of respect for my grandfather but was not active in the ritual. You can only imagine the state of shock that my family was in. My family bombarded me with ridicules and contempt. God was there the whole time, He held my hand and I could feel His presence. I had the spirit of peace and humility all over me, not once was I angry or amuck at them. I listened and mumbled prayers that God will bless our family and "forgive them for they do not know what they are doing."
My mother from Vietnam heard of the news that I had converted, was frantic. She made many baffling calls asking me why? She wrote a letter to my father saying that when she comes here we will have a family meeting and I would have to choose between God or the family. After reading the letter, that my father accidently left on my bed, got me thinking and I was afraid. My mind was thinking and not my spirit. I thought of how I grew up and never lacked anything thanks to my parents. They brought me here to the land of great opportunities, and did many unimaginable things so I could be comfortable. Yet at the same time God's love was ultimately rooted in my heart and I was never going to let that go. He has been there since the day I was born till the day that I take my last breath. All my needs will be met, and I will never ever lack anything as long as I remain in Him.
I definitely was on my knees a lot praying for His guidance and many people at church also prayed for me. Knowing this, I knew what I was going to do. I anticipated my mother's visit, the wait was long.
She finally arrived. God worked in an amazing way where she didn't even remember anything written in the letter of what she wanted to do when she gets here. During her stay, I spent much quality time with her. She noticed what God had done in me. I have changed. I am no longer a little child who only knows how to receive love, but I was full of love and joy, and was ready to give. Praise the Lord! The night before she left was when she asked me why did I covert. With as much as God allowed me to explain, my mother sat there and listened, speechless. I believe that through me God planted a small seed in my mother's spirit. Ordinarily, she is very spiritual, but ultimately to the wrong God. I receive and hold on to God's promise in my life that one day, on His time, my family will come to know Him and of His love. I am continuing to pray daily for them and I would like to ask if you could, you would pray for me and my family as well.